More from the summer of love!

Two weeks ago, today, I was married, for the fourth time. The first time I was married to my son’s mother more than 25 years ago and the last three to the man I have been living with for the last nine years. It seemed that every time the law changed we got married; hopefully, this will be the last time. Until we get to Brasil, at least…

We were married here in California on 8/8/08… the date being set months before we both realized the auspiciousness of the date. We decided to wait until we returned from Brasil for the summer, and realized we should just do it on the date of our 10th. Being pragmatic mathematicians, neither of us is capable of anymore anniversaries. So the 9th was selected, and plans were made and invitations sent out, and since the authorities are only open weekdays. So it was that we selected the 8th, that Friday for the civil ceremonies.

I am not sure but neither of us was quite prepared for the energy that changing our status to “married” was going to give us. It has been good. Indeed, very good. Everything from the energy of the actual civil ceremony, to that of the using “husband” instead of “partner” has been enlightening.

In Brasil, I asked M’s family for their blessing, and they gladly gave it. Back in the states, Milton asked mine, and was treated to a treatise as to why marriage should only be between a man and woman. It was humiliating and deeply sad for us and for those at the wedding and reception who had wished they might have come around. But in the end my son, Spencer stood as our best man, and dear friend Jeri stood as our matron of honor at the small civil ceremony at the county courthouse. We had asked for the blessing from both our families in hopes that we might have a Bahá’í ceremony, but alas, it was not to be.

At the Saturday reception at our home, we had a short blessing by our dear Catholic Priest, colleague and friend Father Joe. He met with us a few days before, and had rewritten a lovely blessing from the traditional Catholic marriage blessing (Milton is Catholic, I am Bahá’í). We both agreed that it added just the right touch to a fun afternoon with about 40 friends and cousins.

Milton, a truly gifted cook, insisted on preparing all the food for the party, and 40 people came, some a far as Portland, and Florida. Two sets of cousins came, but that was it from my family. Though an Aunt and Uncle made sure to let us know that they were not coming, but not because of the marriage thing, but because she had been the prime organizer for her high school class reunion for years and it was the same day, way up in Yreka.

So we had brought back water from the headwaters of the Sacramento River on Mt. Shasta, and the padre blessed us all, and then we had a party. My son and his girlfriend made a DVD that is a smashing success, even though they arrived late, and missed the ceremony and ½ the guests. The whole experience was great! The love and best wishes, the food, the friends… all great! I had connected some really great rainbow nightlights all over the back yard, so as the evening descended on the few brave souls who remained, it was very pleasant.

There have been surprises… for instance, during the party, when we were both scurrying about making sure gasses were filled and conversation flowing, Milton looked shocked at something. Later, after we collapsed in bed, he told me that, he had seen his father walking though out of the corner of his eye. His father, has been dead for about two years now, but dearly loved us both, and had given his blessing to us right be fore he passed away. It was such a confirmation, that his father had made the extra effort to peek between the veil to extend his best wishes. It was even more fitting that he was enjoying the party! The first time that I could have used the term “husband” a colleague corrected me for using partner… now when I call the bank or AAA, I refer to my “husband & I” and things just move ahead professionally.

It truly is the summer of love!