Thanks Ed for this email joke...

These classifieds actually ran in newspapers - a smile for your day...

1. FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER .
8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

2. FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

3. FREE PUPPIES..
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog. Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

4. FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

5. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

6. NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

7. GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents/lb.

8. JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

9. WEDDING DRESS FOR S ALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one?:

10. FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition.
$1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,
Got married last month. Wife knows everything.