Parents, kids today more in harmony than prior generations
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From USA TODAY, Wednesday, August 12, 2009. See http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-08-12-generation-gap-pew_N.htm?csp=DailyBriefing
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Parents, kids today more in harmony than prior generations
By Sharon Jayson
Popular wisdom suggests many young people and their Baby Boomer parents get along great - unlike many Boomers and their own parents did back in the '60s and '70s. So does that mean the generations see eye to eye?
Not at all. But they aren't fighting about it like they used to. Forty years after Woodstock, the generation gap has mellowed.
A survey out today from the Pew Research Center finds two-thirds of Americans 16 and older see an age divide in every one of the eight areas listed. Among the biggest gaps:
*Technology: 73% call tech use "very different."
*Music: 69% say tastes are "very different."
*Music: 69% say tastes are "very different."
*Moral values: 80% call them "very" or "somewhat" different; 80% said the same for work ethic.
But can these kinds of differences be called a real generation gap? That depends, demographers say.
"The generation gap referred to a vast gulf between the basic values and norms for youth and the midlife generation of parents and leaders," says historian and demographer Neil Howe of Great Falls, Va., who has co-written several books on the generations.
"Those were the Americans who had been through World War II and presided over great American prosperity and affluence. They felt a million light-years removed from these kids that seemed to have no loyalty or connection, or even thanks. The music, the literature, the poetry, the pop culture of the young all expressed a repudiation of older people and the system they stood for. It was a time of screaming matches between generations over basic values."
The Pew survey of 1,815 people in July and August found that although differences were clear, respondents didn't believe they created much trouble in their own families or in society overall. Just 26% say there are strong conflicts between generations.
"This survey suggests the generations have discovered they can disagree without being disagreeable," says Paul Taylor, director of Pew's Social and Demographic Trends Project, which did the survey as a follow-up to a survey in June that found a generation gap wider than in 1969, at the height of conflict.
To a Boomer, the generation gap is more than just a catchy phrase; it represents an era when clashes over civil rights, women's rights and Vietnam forged a counterculture that would change American life. For their kids, often called the echo boomers, Generation Y or the Millennials, the gap that was a chasm decades ago isn't so deep now.
"Part of Baby Boomers challenging the status quo might have played more into the fact that they were challenging their parents," says Matt Heineman, 26, a freelance filmmaker in New York. "We're not necessarily challenging our parents. We're trying to figure out what challenges of the world to take on."
Only 10% of survey respondents with a child over 16 say they've often had major disagreements with the child in his or her late teens or early 20s. But 19% of parents say they had major disagreements with their parents.
"When young people say they're close to their parents, they don't mean they agree on these issues. It's a psychological and emotional closeness," says William Galston of the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C.
"Most Boomers would rather have been caught dead than have serious discussions with parents about these things, because serious discussions tended to break down into painful arguments," says Galston, who has studied the younger group. "I don't think today's young people are afraid the relationships they have with their parents will be frayed or broken if they're more candid."
But can these kinds of differences be called a real generation gap? That depends, demographers say.
"The generation gap referred to a vast gulf between the basic values and norms for youth and the midlife generation of parents and leaders," says historian and demographer Neil Howe of Great Falls, Va., who has co-written several books on the generations.
"Those were the Americans who had been through World War II and presided over great American prosperity and affluence. They felt a million light-years removed from these kids that seemed to have no loyalty or connection, or even thanks. The music, the literature, the poetry, the pop culture of the young all expressed a repudiation of older people and the system they stood for. It was a time of screaming matches between generations over basic values."
The Pew survey of 1,815 people in July and August found that although differences were clear, respondents didn't believe they created much trouble in their own families or in society overall. Just 26% say there are strong conflicts between generations.
"This survey suggests the generations have discovered they can disagree without being disagreeable," says Paul Taylor, director of Pew's Social and Demographic Trends Project, which did the survey as a follow-up to a survey in June that found a generation gap wider than in 1969, at the height of conflict.
To a Boomer, the generation gap is more than just a catchy phrase; it represents an era when clashes over civil rights, women's rights and Vietnam forged a counterculture that would change American life. For their kids, often called the echo boomers, Generation Y or the Millennials, the gap that was a chasm decades ago isn't so deep now.
"Part of Baby Boomers challenging the status quo might have played more into the fact that they were challenging their parents," says Matt Heineman, 26, a freelance filmmaker in New York. "We're not necessarily challenging our parents. We're trying to figure out what challenges of the world to take on."
Only 10% of survey respondents with a child over 16 say they've often had major disagreements with the child in his or her late teens or early 20s. But 19% of parents say they had major disagreements with their parents.
"When young people say they're close to their parents, they don't mean they agree on these issues. It's a psychological and emotional closeness," says William Galston of the Brookings Institution in Washington, D.C.
"Most Boomers would rather have been caught dead than have serious discussions with parents about these things, because serious discussions tended to break down into painful arguments," says Galston, who has studied the younger group. "I don't think today's young people are afraid the relationships they have with their parents will be frayed or broken if they're more candid."
As the father of two daughters in theirs 20s, David Hesel, 62, of Concord, Mass., says parents really do try to understand kids. "They're bombarded with much more than we ever were," he says. "That's not to say I endorse everything they do, but when they look for guidance, it's not based on what it was when I grew up."
Most say differences persist
Kate Cleary, 53, of Lutherville, Md., has two sons, 17 and 19. "I can relate to my kids on some issues my parents couldn't relate to me on, because it wasn't in their experience at all," she says.
Eric Chester, 51, of Lakewood, Colo., says "if there's more accord, it's because the parent tries to be young at heart and tries to give the kid their space."
As president of Generation Why, a consulting firm, he says misunderstandings in the workplace come from different expectations. "They may have skills and are techno-savvy and book-smart and streetwise, but they don't understand what the big deal is if they're five minutes late," he says of young people today. About half of those surveyed (53%) call the generations "very different" in the respect they show others.
"The classic thing is they show up on Day One and want to tell you how to change your business," says Bruce Tulgan, 42, founder of Rainmaker Thinking, a research and management training firm in New Haven, Conn., and author of the 2009 book Not Everyone Gets a Trophy: How to Manage Generation Y.
"It leads older people to think they have a radically different work ethic, but Gen Yers said 'I thought you want me to care about this place.' "
Galston says such attitudes aren't just about work but rather about hierarchy. "These young people have grown up in very flat, horizontal relationships. So, the idea of deferring to someone older, simply because that person is there, is not part of their makeup."
Although Pew didn't define "moral values," some cite sex.
"I think some people in my generation are more liberal when it comes to sex as opposed to my parents' generation," says Margot Hesel, 25, of Manhattan, who works for the city of New York.
But the greatest gap Pew found was over technology.
"It's at the core of their relationships," says David Morrison, 41, of Twentysomething Inc., a Philadelphia consulting and research firm. "It's difficult for them to understand how other generations are not as connected as they are."
Kate Cleary, 53, of Lutherville, Md., has two sons, 17 and 19. "I can relate to my kids on some issues my parents couldn't relate to me on, because it wasn't in their experience at all," she says.
Eric Chester, 51, of Lakewood, Colo., says "if there's more accord, it's because the parent tries to be young at heart and tries to give the kid their space."
As president of Generation Why, a consulting firm, he says misunderstandings in the workplace come from different expectations. "They may have skills and are techno-savvy and book-smart and streetwise, but they don't understand what the big deal is if they're five minutes late," he says of young people today. About half of those surveyed (53%) call the generations "very different" in the respect they show others.
"The classic thing is they show up on Day One and want to tell you how to change your business," says Bruce Tulgan, 42, founder of Rainmaker Thinking, a research and management training firm in New Haven, Conn., and author of the 2009 book Not Everyone Gets a Trophy: How to Manage Generation Y.
"It leads older people to think they have a radically different work ethic, but Gen Yers said 'I thought you want me to care about this place.' "
Galston says such attitudes aren't just about work but rather about hierarchy. "These young people have grown up in very flat, horizontal relationships. So, the idea of deferring to someone older, simply because that person is there, is not part of their makeup."
Although Pew didn't define "moral values," some cite sex.
"I think some people in my generation are more liberal when it comes to sex as opposed to my parents' generation," says Margot Hesel, 25, of Manhattan, who works for the city of New York.
But the greatest gap Pew found was over technology.
"It's at the core of their relationships," says David Morrison, 41, of Twentysomething Inc., a Philadelphia consulting and research firm. "It's difficult for them to understand how other generations are not as connected as they are."
The technology divide
Kate Hesel, 27, a graduate student in public health at George Washington University in Washington, D.C., says that for her parents' generation, technology is "less fluid and less easy and more of a foreign thing to them." For her peers, it's "second nature - like a part of you."
But computers make it so easy to copy and paste that many do, raising new questions about the definition of cheating, says English professor Mark Bauerlein, 50, of Atlanta's Emory University. "Enormously high rates of people said they used other people's work and were not really seeing it as cheating," he says.
Also, he says, many young people text peers to warn them about things like pop quizzes. "They have more of a sense of unity and togetherness that they regard as virtuous," he says. "It's kind of a moral code of togetherness."
Pew found the generations actually disagree about almost everything except the type of music they listen to. Except for those 65 and older, rock 'n' roll is king. That's a striking change from 1966, when a national Harris survey of 1,250 adults found almost half (44%) said they didn't like rock 'n' roll; 21% said they liked it and just 4% said it was their favorite kind of music.
Pew gave respondents a list of 20 performers and groups from the 1940s to the present and asked which they liked a lot, a little, disliked or haven't heard of. Results show that 1960s rock has a strong place among not just Boomers, but Millennials. Performers including the Beatles, Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix are among favorites of Gen Y - even those who haven't performed in their lifetimes, such as Elvis, who 24% of 16- to 29-year-olds said they like "a lot."
But some say the idyllic relationship may not last.
Kate Hesel, 27, a graduate student in public health at George Washington University in Washington, D.C., says that for her parents' generation, technology is "less fluid and less easy and more of a foreign thing to them." For her peers, it's "second nature - like a part of you."
But computers make it so easy to copy and paste that many do, raising new questions about the definition of cheating, says English professor Mark Bauerlein, 50, of Atlanta's Emory University. "Enormously high rates of people said they used other people's work and were not really seeing it as cheating," he says.
Also, he says, many young people text peers to warn them about things like pop quizzes. "They have more of a sense of unity and togetherness that they regard as virtuous," he says. "It's kind of a moral code of togetherness."
Pew found the generations actually disagree about almost everything except the type of music they listen to. Except for those 65 and older, rock 'n' roll is king. That's a striking change from 1966, when a national Harris survey of 1,250 adults found almost half (44%) said they didn't like rock 'n' roll; 21% said they liked it and just 4% said it was their favorite kind of music.
Pew gave respondents a list of 20 performers and groups from the 1940s to the present and asked which they liked a lot, a little, disliked or haven't heard of. Results show that 1960s rock has a strong place among not just Boomers, but Millennials. Performers including the Beatles, Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix are among favorites of Gen Y - even those who haven't performed in their lifetimes, such as Elvis, who 24% of 16- to 29-year-olds said they like "a lot."
But some say the idyllic relationship may not last.
Steven Mintz, a history professor at Columbia University in New York City, worries that cuts in government spending could pit the Boomers and Millennials in a kind of generational warfare over limited resources.
"As the Baby Boomers retire, there's going to be a limited budget, and the question is 'Where do those resources go? Are they going to go into health care and Social Security for the elderly or to child care for young parents?' "
Morrison says there will always be differences between generations, but these groups do have a strong connection.
"Generation Y gets their Boomer parents. They fully understand where they're coming from," he says.
And "Boomer parents, in part, get Generation Y."
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40 YEARS AFTER WOODSTOCK
The percentage of those surveyed who say younger and older people are "very" different in:
* The way they use computers and new technologies: 73%
* The music they like: 69%
* Their work ethic: 58%
* Their moral values: 54%
* The respect they show others: 53%
* Their political views: 43%
* Their religious beliefs: 41%
* Their attitudes toward different races and groups: 34%
Source: Pew Research Center
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To see AGE AND MUSIC LIKES and bar graphs for "Percentage of people who say they like the artist "a lot" (by age group / 18 artists in each age group), go to http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-08-12-generation-gap-pew_N.htm?csp=DailyBriefing
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READ: Pew Research Center report -- http://pewsocialtrends.org/pubs/739/woodstock-gentler-generation-gap-music-by-age
BUSINESS TO FUN: How different generations spend time online -- http://www.usatoday.com/tech/webguide/internetlife/2009-01-28-online-generations_N.htm
'DUMBEST GENERATION'? Professor blames technology -- http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2009-06-03-dumbest-generation_N.htm
'CIVIC GENERATION': Rolling up their sleeves in record numbers -- http://www.usatoday.com/news/sharing/2009-04-13-millenial_N.htm
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