Lots of you continue to get unhinged emails from people on Facebook, your drunk uncle, and various Tea Party relatives. Here's a gentle response to them, and I hope this will go viral...
Pretty soon Obama will be gone and you will have to face up to the
fact that you will have lost a whole decade of your life passing around
conspiracy theories and whipping yourself into a frenzy of hatred. All
of you lost friends, severed relationships with family members, and some
of you even lost your job or your marriage due to your unhinged
You lost that decade wailing about Obama the gay Communist Muslim
narcissist dictator who was going to let the UN invade America and
various hoaxes like "death panels," birth certificates, and the "Ground
Zero Mosque" (remember how you wasted two years of your life over
that?). Just think of what you could have accomplished if you hadn't
wasted all that time. You could have gotten a college degree, you could
have written a book, you could have run your first marathon, you could
have built a boat and sailed it around the world. You could learned to
speak another language - oh wait, you never would have done that.
You kept waiting for Obama to be impeached or for the GOP candidates
to "take off the gloves." But they never did because your favorite
stories were hoaxes, and the GOP can't impeach or win the White House
based on hoaxes. No doubt you were waiting for someone, anyone, in the
White House to be indicted or arrested, like all those people under
Nixon and Reagan and Bush, but no dice.
Many of you will never recover from this experience. Physically,
your health is no doubt worse for having lost a decade watching
television and whipping yourself into a frenzy of hatred. Your ability
to reason is probably permanently damaged, and nobody really wants to
listen to your opinions anyway. Yes, you can successfully annoy the
waitress at the diner, because she can't run away from a customer, but
that doesn't mean she agrees with you.
Some of you will be going into
nursing homes because people gave up on you a long time ago and nobody
can stand to listen to one more day of you babbling about Saul Alinsky
(who died in 1972, by the way).
Some of you have no doubt suffered financially from all the time you
wasted hating Obama. But some of you have actually done very very well
under his "anticapitalist," "communist," "dictatorship." You do know
that the economy usually does much better under Democrats, right? And
that the best four years of job creation in the last 50 years was under
Jimmy Carter, right?
The next two years would be a good chance to start making amends to
your families and trying to rebuild relations with people in your life.
Yes we know there's another election in 2016 and you'll be falling down
the next rabbit hole of insanity, but try to leave your families with a
few memories of you acting like a normal human being.
And the next time there is a GOP president, just remember that there
will be fatal embassy attacks under the GOP president, just like the
dozens of fatal embassy attacks that occurred under previous Republican
presidents. Except Democrats won't be working themselves into a frenzy
of conspiracy theories when it happens, they won't be cheerleading for
the terrorists, and they won't be trying to overthrow the US government
every time something happens.