Thursday, January 28, 2016

Via Mike Contino / Jerry Becker:


Our thanks to Mike Contino, Executive Secretary, The California Mathematics Council (retired), for the following list of sayings. As Mike comments, these are some sayings that passed his way recently. Enjoy? [no sources were given although one might have come from Trump. Many were definitely aimed at him, says Mike]

You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn't?
Yeah, I don't have one of those either.

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

So, when is 'Old enough to know better' supposed to kick in?

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered Š'Who ties your shoelaces for you?'

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Be careful when you follow the MASSES. Sometimes the 'M' is silent.

I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you! (seen on a T-shirt).

I hate it when the voices inside my head go silent Š I never know what they're planning.

I am NOT lazy. I just really enjoy doing nothing.

When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same way when you're stupid.

If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.

Calm down   Take a deep breath   Now hold that for about 20 minutes.

I never argue. I just explain why I'm right.

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue all the time.

Don't confuse my personality with my attitude.
My personality is who I am.
My attitude depends on who you are.

Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I'm not in a mental asylum. Then I take a look around and realize--maybe I already am.

We never really grow up. Some of us just learn how to act in public.

(Bonus, an old one, probably that came from you, but I still enjoy bringing it up whenever possible: I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandpa. Not kicking and screaming, like all the people in his car.)

Mike Contino, Executive Secretary, The California Mathematics Council, retired.


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